Goodness.
Although it shld be the time to sleep nao, i cant resist but i need to blog.
Did math just now & my brain was working well alr,
but i just had to stop cause tmr's gna be a long day.
I feel soooo motivated once again.
Thanks to Leon:D
Okay, maybe motivated's not the word.
I just feel enlightened again.
K, leon talked to me like a mth ago or so?
Telling me to just study & somewhat making me wake up my idea.
Really, i often dont see the point.
But as leon said, not everything will go the way we want it to be.
So just deal with it & get over it.
Complaining isnt gna help.
Neither is quitting.
Talked to leon again tdy abt the cca.
I wanted to quit cause im feeling really uncomfortable.
It used to be awesome, really.
Meetings were bearable, but i think a major factor was cause my best friends were with me.
I like doing cip too, makes me feel good helping.
But i've always been in my comfort zone, that now, when i suddenly have to attend meetings w/o them, i feel like a fish out of the water.
I do have friends there, but it just doesnt feel as right.
Then i realised, since apparently, it will be better to have a cca, i shld just stay & deal with it.
Gng for meetings alone/with random people might not be that bad.
Since i have to, i should just do it.
I feel that it will be awkward, but then again, who will be noticing? Nobody.
It has always been me being too self-concious when im alone.
It shldnt be this way.
These insecurities though, are helping me learn.
I dont know, but i think i need to grow up. & i will, step by step.
PS. It kind of only applies when im in a hugeee group but im alone. Not like when im walking arnd alone/gng somewhere alone. Differentttt.
